Five years of my life are lost (at least the details of these years)

My journals were all quite different, like these ones.

From around junior year of high school to junior year of college I kept a journal. I would write in it every day or two, and ended up filling up more than 10 journals.

But a couple of years after graduating from college I threw all the journals away. They have probably long been chopped up into little pieces.

I regret that I did this. How cool would it be to read thoughts I had from so long ago (nine to 13 years ago)? I have lots of memories from this period of time, but many of them are rather vague. Plus, I have certainly forgotten certain happenings or thoughts, and may never remember them again.

I know exactly why I threw out those journals. Actually there were two reasons. One reason was I felt my thoughts weren’t worthwhile. I felt I had written about pretty mundane stuff (what I was doing that day, feelings about friends, thing I wanted to do over the next year) that would be boring to read about one day.

The other reason was I was going through a period where I felt I had to do away with material objects. I was thinking of moving to France permanently, and thus felt it wasn’t practical to have many possessions. Whenever I went to the store to buy something I’d consider its size. Was it significantly small enough to bring to France?, I contemplated.

Eventually I got over this fear of having too many possessions, though I still try to throw away as many unnecessary items as I can. I don’t like clutter, or having useless objects around.

But if I still had my journals today I would decide to keep them. I would consider them valuable, despite their commonplace topics. They’d help me understand how I got where I am!

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2 Comments on “Five years of my life are lost (at least the details of these years)”

  1. ina Says:

    I totally relate. I used to write in journals too, but mostly when I was little (elementary school) because it was such a popular gift to receive on my birthday šŸ™‚ I was never very disciplined, but I always wanted to keep one. I don’t know what I did with all of those, but I’m happy to say that ONE survived. I have it in my bookshelf šŸ™‚
    I also kept one that I wrote in all through my senior year of high school, and one that I wrote in when I was in 9th grade. When I was in college I kept a account. Before I canceled it, I downloaded all my writings and I have them on my computer šŸ™‚
    I understand your loss — your thoughts were definitely valuable. If not to you at the time, to your children they would have been some day.
    My condolences,

    • Christine Laubenstein Says:

      Hey Ina,

      I’m glad you still have one of your book journals, as well as your writings. You will be so happy to read these thoughts one day (or even now!).

      Thanks for your condolences…It stinks I threw everything away, but at least I’ve learned from the experience.

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